Deidara is the Best!
by Funky Bracelet Chick
Summary: Yupp. Deidara is the best. At least, in my point of view he is. This is a random list I came up with as to WHY he is the best because SOMEONE wanted me to prove it.


**Okay, um, well, this is the first thing I have ever published on here in the history of my life. I'm totally excited beyond belief!!!! *jumps up and down* I even get to do the disclaimer! w00t!**

**Diclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I never will unless, by some weird twist of fate, the plot line gets willed to me. In that case, it wouldn't even be a manga anymore. I can't draw for shit. hee hee**

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**Why Deidara is the Best in General**

**(1.)** He has awesome long blonde hair.

**(2.) **His blue eyes are sexy (well, eye).

**(3.)** Dude, this dude has 4 mouths! That's totally kick ass! Think about it! There's the mouth on his his face, the 2 on his palms, and the one on his chest! It really makes you wonder about his tooth brush situation. For me, if I had more than one mouth, I'd just use the same toothbrush. It'd all just be the same. But that's just me. Some people are sticklers for hygene.

**(4.)** He's part of the Akatsuki! The whole group of them are awesome. While they'll never be as awesome as Dei Dei, they come pretty gosh darn close.

**(5.)** He says "un" or "yeah" or something along those lines at the end of every sentence. Isn't that just _adorable_? ADORABLE!!!!!! I love when he has to answer yes or no questions.

-Example Start-

"Dei-chan? Do you think Itachi is a sexy beast?"

"NO, YEAH!"

"_Really?_ I knew it! Hey Itchy? Guess what Dei-chan said about you?"

-Example End-

You get the picture. Plus, it's just so original. How many other people do you know who talk like that? NONE! Didn't think so!

**(6.)** He's a pyromaniac. I'm a pyromaniac. You get the picture.

**(7.)** Deidara is an artist. That means he's in touch with his emotions. Even though he's a bomber, he still has emotions!! Not many other people can say that....

**Why Deidara is Way Better Than Rock Lee**

(I'm sorry to any Rock Lee Fans reading this. Just skip this part. It's not that long anyway.)

**(1.)** People don't compare Deidara to a squirrel. A NERDY-LOOKING squirrel, at that.

**(2.)** He doesn't have a bowl haircut.

**(3.)** Dei-chan doesn't have bushy eyebrows that weird people out (myself included). His eyelashes are kinda creepy too...

**(4.) **Deidara doesn't wear an ugly ass green jumpsuit and orange legwarmers.

**(5.) **Dei Dei doesn't look like a mini version of Gai-sensei or go on about "youth" all the time.

**(6.)** Dei-chan can use contractions in his speech. Rock Lee seems to lack that ability.

**Why Deidara Kicks Sasuke's Ass Any Day**

**(1.)** He doesn't have an ass bow. OH! I said it! I went there! Sasuke just got fried! Mwahahaha.

**(2.)** Dei-chan's hair doesn't look like a duck's butt. It's blonde too...yummy...

**(3.) **Sasuke can only summon a snake. Dei can have any animal he wants with his clay. Snakes included!

**(4.)** Deidara's eyes are blue. Do you know what blue is? A normal eye color. Black isn't normal. Sure, there's REALLY REALLY dark brown, but not black. He's got to be wearing contacts! He's just abnormally good at hiding it!

**(5.)** Okay. Ever noticed this one? You probably have. It's not very original. SasUKE. As in, "I'm totally on the bottom when it comes to sexy time with Naru-chan!" I mean, come ON! Didn't his parents ever listen to the rabid yaoi fangirls (myself included) when they told him "Don't! He'll be on the recieveing end of butt sex his entire gay assed, emo life!" No. They didn't. And do you see what happened? SasUKE. They couldn't name their child Bob or Steve or Harley. Yup. Nothing makes a parent happier than saddling their kid with a humiliating name. Nothing.

**(6.)** Sasuke is an emo bitch. Not that I don't think that emo/punk guys are completely hot, it's the total opposite. They're completely smexy. The problem with Sasuke is that he's too wrapped up in his own little world. I very frequently find myself wondering "Well! Who peed in your cornflakes this morning?!" He doesn't even notice when Naruto (his seme all the way) and Sakura are truly trying to be his friend. He's so curled up in his Emo Corner of Woe! He just ignores all the good things in life. Talk about a sour puss! I guess watching your older brother whom you look up to murder your entire family will do that to a guy, but it took control of his life! Jeez! It really pisses me off that he just ignored all the good stuff that ever happened to him. Sasuke just broods over all the macabre things that have ever happened to him. Emo bitch. Did I say that already? Well, I'm saying it again! Sasuke is an emo bitch! He doesn't even try to show his emotions. At least Deidara has the emotional capability to be happy.

**(7.)** Deidara belongs to the Akatsuki: the bestest awesomest terrorist group in the whole Narutoverse! Sasuke went and joined up with Oro-teme. Wimp.

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**Seeing as this is my first thing on here EVER, do you think you could find the time in your very "busy" schedules to review? Pwease? *puppy dog eyes* You know you want to. **


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